


two out of three ain’t bad

by robbosugden



Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: Affairs, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jealousy, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-29 05:03:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16257221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robbosugden/pseuds/robbosugden
Summary: two times james denies harry, and one time he can’t





	two out of three ain’t bad

**Author's Note:**

> hi, this is my first fic for this pairing (so please be gentle) 
> 
> Enjoy!

 

It’s been a month since Harry married Ste, and it’s been one hell of a climb for James to try to get himself out of a rut he found himself in. 

That wasn’t him, he didn’t do self-pity. So, he had put on a brand new suit and decided today was the day he was going to move on from Harry. 

He could do it. 

Only, seeing Ste draped over Harry outside The Loft wasn’t any easier than all the other times he’d had to see them around the village. 

James took a sip of his coffee from his takeaway cup, and tried not to stare for too long. It wasn’t worth it, and today was a fresh start after all. 

He walked passed them with his head high and his shoulders broad. Ste was obviously too into his husband to notice anything around him and Harry, but Harry saw everything. 

Ste had his arms around Harry’s waist, but the smile on Harry’s lips dropped instantly at the sight of James. An almost sorry look, which he had no right to, James would have laughed if it weren’t so sad.

Instead, he offered him a quick nod and turned down the alley as fast as his legs would carry him. 

Only then did he let himself breathe. 

 

*

It hadn’t even been an hour since seeing Harry in the village before there was knocking at his door. 

James knew it was him. Knew that he should just ignore him, but the knocking didn’t stop and then Harry was shouting his name through the door, the desperation in his voice making James get to his feet. 

“What do you want?” James huffed, his arm resting up against the door frame. 

Harry frowned, almost lost for words. The silence was deafening and James didn’t have time for this anymore. “Riveting,” James spoke into the silence. “If that’s all,” James went to shut the door, but hardy moved quicker and put his foot in the way. 

“I’m sorry. About earlier,” he sighed. “I didn’t see you-“ 

“You still haven’t answered my question,” James blanked Harry’s words, ignored how close he was. “I’ve got work to do, and if I’m honest, I’m over all this.” 

The words stung, it was a sucker punch that had Harry taking a step back. “You’re over me then?” Harry mumbled, scared of the answer. 

James dropped his head on to his arm. “Just go home, Harry.” 

Harry shook his head, the fear making him act. “No,” he breathed. He stepped in closer again, this time raising his hand to James’s cheek. “Remember when I said we were worth the wait? We still are,” he spoke as strongly as he could, the words not seeming to change a thing. 

It seemed James had made up his mind. He moved away from Harry’s touch, a shake to his head. “I’m tired of waiting.” 

He closed the door before he gave in, the block between them not enough to stop the flash of hurt on Harry’s face etch behind his closed, tired eyes. 

***

The second time they’re faced with each other is in the pub. Harry’s kept his distance since their last encounter, and James is glad for it. He’s had the breathing space he needed to finally move on.

And that’s why he’s on his second date with Callum. He’s sweet, with a dry sense of humour, brilliant body  and he’s just enough to make James forget about Harry. Even if it’s for a few hours a day. 

James can feel Harry’s eyes on them, but he won’t give him the satisfaction of letting him know it. Callum pulls at the tie around James’s neck, pulling him in for a kiss. 

James smirks, more so because he knows Harry will have seen it. It shouldn’t please him as much as it does for somebody who’s apparently over someone. 

James is in the toilets, a few scotches down and he’s feeling good, he knows it for all the wrong reasons. It’s not because of the man he’s sharing a table with, the new man in his bed. 

It’s because of the man standing behind him, a man who looks tired and lost. A man who is desperate to have back the one thing that made sense. 

He lost all that when he made his choice, when he chose his family. Ste. 

“What’s wrong?” James raises his eyebrow, “marriage life not what you were expecting?” 

Harry looks down at the floor, the both of them knowing the answer, but he’s stubborn and he won’t give James any more power than what he carries now. “That your new boyfriend then?” He asks instead, his chin raised and his arms folded in front of him. “Doesn’t look like your type.” 

James laughs, the sound twisted. “Maybe my old type made me realise what I actually needed.” James looks at Harry, his mouth straight. “I don’t have to play second fiddle to anybody else,” James shrugs. “It’s a wonderful feeling.” 

“Stop saying that,” Harry pleads. “You know you don’t come second.” 

“Except for when you married Ste,” James winks, his anger now bubbling. “I definitely didn’t come first then, did I?” 

“I’m sorry,” Harry says, for what feels like the hundredth time. “You know how I feel about you.” 

“It’s not enough anymore though, is it?” James’s voice shakes.

“Why can I still feel what I always feel when I’m around you, then?” Harry bravely steps forward. “That want for each other. I think about you every single day and I don’t want to stop.” 

James closes his eyes, maybe if he wishes hard enough he won’t be here and this will all have just been a bad dream. 

“This isn’t fair,” he opens his eyes. He’s still in the same spot, Harry closer than he could remember and he’s so close to reaching out. To taking what’s really his. 

Harry almost takes what’s his. A tiny smile on his lips that makes James’s heart do that silly thing it always does when Harry does something. Anything. 

But he clears his throat, pushes Harry out of his space and simply shakes his head.

No. 

We can’t and we won’t do this. 

James leaves, and heads back to Callum, ignoring everything in his being telling him to go back. 

***

This time James lets Harry in to his flat without a fight. He’s had a fall out with his dad, it’s something stupid and will probably be forgotten about this time next week, but Harry has been crying and James couldn’t turn him away. 

“Thanks for listening,” Harry looks over at James. “I knew you’d understand.” 

“Perks of my job,” James jokes, although neither of them laugh. He swirls the brown liquor in his shot glass, “just speak to him in the morning and clear the air.” 

Harry smiles properly, his eyes still red from wiping at his tears. He’s not thinking, or maybe he is and that’s why he does it. His hand cups over James’s hand, his thumb stroking over his cool knuckles. “I don’t deserve you,” Harry concludes, mostly to himself. When James doesn’t move his hand, he wraps his finger around his. “I love you.” 

That has James moving, he twists away and sits up straight before knocking back the rest of his drink. It burns his throat and he welcomes it.

“Don’t,” James says harshly. “You should leave now. Callum will be here soon, and I’m not sure he’s in to the whole threesome stuff-“

“James,” Harry cuts him off, doesn’t want his words lightened or made meaningless. “I’m serious.” 

James pours himself another drink, he wishes Callum was coming by because then at least then he’d have a reason to make Harry leave, but the truth is there is no Callum anymore. James just wasn’t that into him, but now Harry is saying the big, bad L word and James wants the world to swallow him up. 

“Go home. Please.” 

Harry’s not listening, he’s coming up behind James with a purpose. He rests his hands down in the top of James’s back, feels the way James stops breathing and he drops his head in between his shoulder blades. “I love you,” he repeats again. This time quieter and intimate. 

He moves his head to places kisses along James’s back, untie the knots in his shoulder. James is weak against the feeling, turns to face Harry. “This won’t end well,” he warns.

Harry just smiles up at him, almost not caring because in this moment he feels more himself than he’s felt since the last time he was with James like this. 

How can that be wrong? 

“Kiss me,” he licks his lips, his eyes dropping down to James’s lips. “Mr. Nightingale, anytime soon.” He grins at the surprise on the taller mans face. 

James can’t deny himself any longer. He pulls Harry to him by his hips and closes the space between them. His lips hungrily over Harry’s, and he nips at his bottom lip with his teeth drawing a moan from him. 

He’s missed this. He’s missed Harry. They both know this isn’t good. 

But that’s the last thing either of them are. 


End file.
